Grammar As Proxy: The Experian Data Breach

I got a treeware letter recently from Experian explaining how one of their servers had been hacked and how my private data (name, address, Social Security number, phone number, birth date, etc) was likely obtained by criminal resellers. The letter was a little more euphemistic than that, but that's basically what Experian was admitting. To make up for this incident, they were offering me a free two-year membership in their "ProtectMyID elite credit monitoring and identity theft resolution services". Now, one might, in these circumstances, ask oneself "Why would I want to enroll in an identity protection service offered...
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