From: Greg Travis
Date: Thu, Feb 3, 2011 at 4:43 PM
Subject: Watch out, Swype web site, here comes another search request!!!!!

Holy fucking cow.  No, really.  FUCK.

First of all, Swype is great, it improved my life, etc. etc.  However,
as many Swype users know, the Swype dictionary decays over time -- it
includes so many incorrect words, or proper names, that it gets less
and less effective.

1. Don't tell me I can remove the bad words; they come back in a
little while.  Like this:

Me: Hey, Swype, the word "not" is a word I use a whole bunch, and I'm
pretty sure it doesn't start with an apostrophe.
Swype: You want me to remove it?
Me: Yes, please.
Swype: Removed.
[half an hour goes by]
Swype: Okay, I put it back, just in case "not" does start with an
apostrophe.  It sure did yesterday.

2. Don't tell me that I can remove the bad words by clearing the data
of the swype application.  No, I cannot.  I cannot remove the bad
words even by removing Swype and the irritating Swype Installer.

3. And don't get me started on the Swype installer.  How many apps
have their own installers?  That require re-installation every time
you get an OTA update?  No, not re-installation of Swype, silly, that
would merely be stupid.  No, the installer has to be re-installed
after each OTA.

But I'm not actually here to rant about Swype.  I did that already on
two other threads.  Nor about the installer.

I'm here about the forums on the Swype website.

First of all, there are a lot of people there asking about this
bad-word problem.  Some get answers like "you can remove them".  They
are happy.  For others, this does not work; they do not get an answer.

But even THAT is not what I'm talking about.  No.

To do a search on the Swype forum -- and I think everyone here can
agree that search is a critical part of the user experience -- to do a
search, you first have to solve a captcha.

BUT WAIT!  Don't get up.  I'm not done.

Not just a captcha once, or once in a while.  No, you have to do one EVERY TIME.

That's right.  Ticketmaster makes you do one every four or five times,
because ticket scalping is a $10,000,000,000 business/crime.  But this
is SWYPE we're talking about, not mere chickenshit ticket scalping.

NO, motherfucker, you're going to prove you're human every single time
you search.  Why are you searching so much?  Maybe it's because ...
you're a ROBOT?

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD FUCKING ON

I'm not done.  I'm upset about MORE THINGS.

This isn't the usual captcha.  No.  It's a captcha I've never seen
before.  You have to reassemble an image.  There's a picture of some
bananas, or a house, or an oozing teratoma, and some of the pieces are
moved away, and you have to move them back.  I attached a picture, so
you can throw up if you feel like it.

HOLD ON FUCK SHIT

Okay, so maybe you've seen this kind of craptcha before.  Cool.  Isn't
it fun?  Maybe you do it once when you log in?  But not every time you
search, that seems like a bit much fuck fuck fuck fuck.

And doesn't this seem kind of easy to crack?  I mean, there's the
completed image in the upper-left.  I think even I know enough to
write a program to crack this.  Yay!

But okay.  Maybe I'll search for "why the fuck do I have to assemble
an image every time."  Okay, and then I assemble the image.  Hit
'search'.

Oh.  Wait.

You're only allowed to search every 60 seconds.

Now don't be rude.  One can hardly blame them.

Because there are SEVENTY-NINE users on right now.

Can you imagine?  Try to imagine if seventy-nine fucking stressed-out
swype users ran up to you and started asking questions, all at once.
It would freak you out, right?  You'd be like, "HOLD ON, TAKE TURNS".
And then you'd be like "EVERYONE ASK A QUESTION EVERY SIXTY SECONDS".
Right?  You can't be expected to process kilobytes of information each
second, you're not a magician, you're just a little web server.
HEY SWYPEHOLES!  SWYPE REALLY IS AN AWESOME DISCOVERY.  WHAT YOU DID
ON YOUR SITE ISN'T PROTECTING YOUR INVESTMENT.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
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